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Posted by / 22-Sep-2019 06:55

Being yourself with men dating

If you’re a relentlessly negative person, people aren’t going to want to spend much time in your company.If you’re the sort of person who likes to “keep it real” by being blunt and rude to others, no matter how witty you think you are, you are going to have a harder time making friends and finding lovers than someone who knows how to help other people have fun and genuinely appreciates their company.The idea to “just be yourself” is one of the most trite and hated stock dating advice phrases, right up there with “You’ll find a girlfriend when you least expect it” in terms of uselessness and banality, and yet it’s the truism most handed out by well-intentioned people who presumably mean well and want to help.The problem is that “just be yourself” is a cop-out, handed out so freely that it’s become what we say when we don’t have anything else to offer. After all, if you’re swallowing your ego and going to people asking for advice on attracting women or men, it’s a pretty damn good sign that whatever you’re doing already isn’t working. they’re Too often when people are trying to get better at dating, they spend a lot of time trying to be something other than who we are.They will stretch the truth about their jobs in an attempt to look more glamorous – implying that they’re a professional poker player for example or that work as an AR scout for a record label when in reality they place the orders for their local Barnes and Noble1.They may dress like MMA fighters when they can’t throw a punch or rockstars despite having never so much as touched a musical instrument since their parents quit taking them to piano lessons in the 2nd grade.That having been said: just because you’re authentically you doesn’t mean that you’re home free.

and so are the issues that may be hindering you in your dating life.

Other issues lie just below the surface: a lack of social experience for example, that means you may have the best of intentions but you end up creeping people out by accident.

These are often matters of ignorance – problematic, but correctable with time and practice. Being your authentic self isn’t going to help if you’re angry and resentful because you aren’t being handed the sex you think you’re “owed” by virtue of being a Nice Guy.

You may be able to fake the outward trappings of someone else’s identity, but you’re still identity will always overpower whatever canned material you use and create a cognative dissonance between your words and your actions.

Your made up identity will be incongruous with who you are inside and no amount of gimmicks or playing to stereotypes will overcome that.

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In the course of trying to get better at dating, there will inevitably be times where someone in your life is going to give you what is possibly the most useless dating advice ever: “Just be yourself”.

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