Dating domestic violence stories
Be careful about asking too many questions, or trying to give hugs, or touches, which could cause the survivor to feel afraid and be counter-productive, according to Dr.Doug Miller, Ph D, Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Forensic Trauma Expert. Nearly every single survivor who talked with Teen Vogue expressed feeling alone, trapped, or isolated, which are typical responses to abuse, according to Dr. Ben, a 26-year-old survivor of parental abuse says the people who have been most helpful to them are the ones who “truly listen with the intent to hear and center you and your experience rather than trying to wall themselves off from it by throwing out platitudes or trying to find what you must have done or what it is about you that ‘made’ this happen to you.”Others, like Samantha, who is 18 and whose best friend is a survivor of emotional and sexual abuse, explained that listening to a survivor is key.
When it comes to being a loving partner or friend, Goerlich says it’s often best to “follow the survivor’s lead,” because someone who has survived a trauma has had their sense of control stripped from them.
It turns out, there are many ways to ease the blow of trauma, according to the survivors and experts spoke with.
One of the most important things you can do for survivors is let them know that it's okay to be having a hard time and to need to take the space to heal, according to Alicia Raimundo, an online mental health counselor.
Some survivors may have repressed the trauma and may be triggered by something but not know that what they’re experiencing is a traumatic trigger.
And even if someone doesn’t experience moments that make them feel overwhelmingly retraumatized, that doesn’t mean they’re not dealing with a great deal of stress or an extra emotional or physical burden on a daily basis.