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"Spectatoring" is another problem that can trip women up. "It may seem counterintuitive," he says, "but you need to relax to build sexual tension." The best preparation for a big orgasm is probably a long, steamy shower, full-body massages by and for your man — or 10 minutes of steady oral sex, if you can get it."It's when a woman is too concerned with her appearance and/or performance to actually enjoy herself," Dr. There's no way you're going to have an orgasm if you're fretting about your cellulite or stressing over whether your newest as-seen-on-late-night-cable moves feel good for him. It's not so much your body that needs the R&R as your mind.It's even been hypothesized that having an orgasm and releasing that tide of oxytocin is a woman's subconscious way of approving of her partner as a potential dad.
The rest of us either hit — or miss — depending on the night, or never experience a female orgasm during intercourse at all. That's what evolutionary biologists have been trying to figure out — with little success.During the big moment, the hypothalamus releases extra oxytocin into your system.Called the "cuddle hormone," oxytocin has been correlated with the urge to bond, be affectionate, and protect (new moms are drunk on the stuff).If you have solo sex by lying on your belly and rubbing your clitoris with your hands tucked beneath you, then your man can enter you from behind in that position.By watching you he'll also get a better sense of the stimulation you need.